Dear Marcello Mastroianni,

I like your movies, also your piece in F.L.A.C.O.N.S. on globalization. I realized I can use the Babelfish page to translate many pages of text (it does a shitty job, so what?) so I can read it very easily, also I’m lazy. I agree with your opinion on Immigrants. This is what I always say to people. we are ALL immigrants from somewhere. Unless you are African. You know, people say “I am so proud of my English/Irish/Norwegian heritage, etc.” and I say “Bullshit! You are just selecting one stop on your ancestors journey, you’re from Africa.” And you know they hate that. Most people hate the truth. And, of course, the shitty pimp politicians always, ALWAYS bring up immigrants to blame for everything that they, the politicians, fucked up. “It’s the IMMIGRANTS! They took all the jobs! They ruined everything! Hate THEM!” It’s a trick. When we should be hating the POLITICIANS! They fucked up the jobs, they fucked up the countries, they fucked up the economies. Everyone is a fucking immigrant. Even the Native Americans came from Asia.
This immigrant shit is especially fucking stupid in the U.S. where EVERYONE is an immigrant. Now it’s “Yeah, maybe my family were immigrants, but they got here before YOU!” A childs’ game. It’s one of these issues the shitty pimps pull out of their ass to distract the people, the same as abortion, gay marriage, drugs, etc.
“Mr. President. Why are we in Afghanistan?”
(Pres) “I’m glad, very glad you asked me about the problem of illegal gay immigrants and how they are coming into our great country and getting married and then having abortions.”
“No sir. I asked about Afghanist…”
“Yes. Many of them are drug addicts and Muslims from Mexico who are using our healthcare system to get sex change operations because the economy is improving.”
“The economy is not improving.”
“Well, it’s true, not as many Americans are going to church. But my good friend Silvio Berlusconi and his imminence the Pope have pledged to assist me in this problem which is, of course, IMMIGRATION.”

and so on….the glorious country. Suddenly there are cameras and police everywhere. They are already flying surveillance drones over the U.S. and now they want to put missiles on them. I did not make this up.
I know the fucking English have them everywhere and the French, Germans…it’s really and truly disgusting. It has gotten much worse very quickly here. It’s making me a little more crazy. Maybe this is how they felt in Italy  in 1925.  Shit.

The next stupido who thinks I am Mauri Sergio I will tell them “Yes! I am Sergio and my web site is F.L.A.C.O.N.S.! Check it out. I am fluent in Italian and I write political and artistic commentary…and people believe that I’m a British journalist who fucks ducks, etc.”

Take care mi Padrone,
Primo Scabuzzino